It's been almost a year since I started doing the modeling thing, and I have to say it's been quite rewarding.
And I've also made the mental transition from "OMG I'm naked in front of strangers" to "OMG it's 8:30pm and all I want to do is finish up this pose so I can go home and crash."
It's also given me a renewed sense of self confidence. Now you have to be comfortable in your own skin to stand up naked in front of a bunch of people you don't know, but it was always on stage in front of people. Like six to 10 feet in front of you. Until one fateful Saturday morning in November, that is.
I roll up to the classroom about 20 minutes early and the security guard points out the classroom. The first thing I notice is that the room is small. Very small. About half the size of the classrooms at the location I normally model in. The next thing I notice is that there isn't a stage like I normally had available. Nope, just a teeny, tiny podium about two feet high and maybe three feet square. And it was in the CENTER of the room. Not up front.
I was going to have people looking at my naked body from all sides! And about three feet away. Gulp!
And it went fine! Everything was totally relaxed, and the only time I got nervous was when my legs went to sleep and I was afraid I'd fall over. I even got compliments from some of the students, thanking me for modeling for them :)
On the subway ride home, I reflected on this and realized that art students have probably seen the naked form as often as some creepy, raincoad-clad perv in an adult bookstore. And since they're obviously cool with it, I should just relax and have fun. After all, I've noticed that the more involved I am in the class (picking up on their energy and responding accordingly), the more I think the students get out of it. Who wants someone busting out dull poses for three hours?
And then something weird happened to me.
No, I didn't get an erection in class. No, I didn't bump into someone who recognized me. It was far more... interesting. A few months ago, I got a call from the art school. They needed a model that very night. As luck had it, I had my modeling kit (just a duffel bag with a robe, flip-flops, a timer, a book, and some other miscellaneous crap) at work with me, so I told the model coordinator to put me down.
Upon getting there, I check in with the instructor and then get changed into my robe. When I got back to the classroom, she dropped what I considered to be a semi-bombshell: you see, one of the students couldn't be exposed to naked people. It was against her religion. So I cooled my heels while they brought in a clothed model to do the intro portion of the class while I waited outside. When they were done with that portion, the student in question would go sit in on another class while I went in to model.
Do you know how weird it feels to stand out in a hallway with people coming and going while you're in your robe? It may sound weird, but I think I would have actually been less self conscious naked. And I don't care, there's nothing you can do to make yourself appear nonchalant, cool, whatever when you're in your fucking bathrobe :)
The rest of the night went off without a hitch. I get yet another call to model the following week with the same professor. So when I check in with her, she asked me if I brought my shorts. Huh? Umm... no. I brought a robe and my birthday suit. Turns out the religious girl was in that class too and the model for that night was supposed to bring shorts to do the gesture poses. The instructor asked me kind of sheepishly (I think she was a little rattled by having to accomodate this student's needs at this point in the semester, and seemed a little embarassed about it) if I could pose in my underwear, to which I was tempted to reply that if this person had an issue with my naughty bits, she probably wasn't going to find my choice in underwear that much more acceptable. As luck would have it (sort of, since what I'm about to say also meant I wasn't getting paid for the night), there was a double booking, and the other model (naturally after I had already gotten changed) came with shorts, so he was clearly the model that was supposed to show up.
I was dead tired that night, and frankly needed the night off. But it got me to thinking who the hell enrolls in an art program and doesn't expect that, from time to time, penises and tits will be exposed? In the same room as you are. I'm really hoping this person is, I dunno, a fashion major or something, and just needs an Intro to Drawing class as part of some general ed requirement. I'm really hoping it's not some sort of Generation X/Y entitlement bullshit where the student thinks the class has to bend to her desires, and not the other way around. I just can't wrap my head around it. Shit, I knew people got naked for art when I was 12 years old reading art history books in the library (disclaimer: it didn't have to do with my love for art so much as my love for nekkid wimmin!). Not to mention you're fucking over the rest of the class who are paying good money (very good money. This school ain't cheap!) and expect to be able to learn and practice art the way it's been done for thousands of years.
I really hope this person, for the sake of her fellow students, decides to major in something, anything, that won't put her belief system in conflict with others. It just isn't fair to anyone.
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